If your birth year starts with a 19 and you survived (or perpetuate) the epidemic of people calling pets “smol,” “pupper” or “doggo,” chances are you've been invited to an “emo night,” regardless of whether or not you used to shop at Hot Topic (or still do — we don't judge).
If you accepted that invitation, you’ve experienced it: a sweaty room packed with young-ish professionals in black skinny jeans, dancing and screaming along to mainstream pop-punk like Paramore, Panic! At The Disco and My Chemical Romance. Would the younger version of you with side-swept bangs over one eye call you a poser? Maybe. But what does it matter? You get to spend an evening united with other full grown adults with non-artificial gray hair who also discovered these songs on MySpace — THE place to discover the greatest underground music! These “emo nights” are unlike any other dance parties you’ve heard of, right?
Unfortunately, wrong. The hard truth is “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” is as old now as “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” was when you were rocking fingerless gloves at the premiere of Batman Begins. (Hurts a bit, doesn't it?)
I'm also sorry to say that your parents donning leg warmers to '80s nights when you were a kid is the same exact scenario as you putting on that studded belt now for emo night. It's really just another commodification of nostalgia for the current generation of adults longing for their "glory days." To put it in a way the too-cool-for-school you of the 2000s would understand: Emo night is just '80s night for millennials.
But hey — there's good news too! There's nothing wrong with collective reminiscence. Sure, your street cred might dip a bit when you’re listening to a DJ set that considers “Mr. Brightside” emo, but there’s a reason why these events are selling tickets across the country: Every generation believes the music that came out when they were growing up was the best.
At this point, there have been quite a few generations that have grown up with distinct movements in contemporary music. And objectively, not every generation’s popular music was the best, though each generation has spawned superstars, new genres and, in their own ways, left a lasting impact on popular music.
Also, objectively, I can’t say that millennials have the strongest claim to growing up with the best music, as “Boom Boom Pow” doesn’t quite have the complexity of “Both Sides Now” (sorry not sorry). But the early 2000s undoubtedly had the best releases in pop-punk. Machine Gun Kelly does not come remotely close to the prowess of My Chemical Romance.
Nostalgia is fun and cool, but the glaring issue with the emo night craze comes in the name of the event — 2000s pop-punk is not “emo.” While plenty of millennials who dressed “emo” back in the day were listening to mainstream pop-punk, as a genre, emo music is more like post hardcore, mathy Midwest emo or even screamo. Some Hot Topic teen in the early aughts would definitely be calling you a poser for this blatant failure to understand the genre. “Real” emos would know the difference between angst-twinged mainstream music and the laments of bands like American Football.
Emo night is just one of the many flavors that themed and ticketed dance parties come in these days. If your life doesn't revolve fully around your human kids you may have seen advertisements for Taylor Swift nights or Shrek and SpongeBob raves too, and all these events seem to follow a similar formula: Give the nostalgia-hungry millennials (and elder Gen Z — sorry, you can't escape aging either!) an excuse to wear a themed outfit, and they will come out to dance to mid-music and buy overpriced drinks.
I will concede to you that out of the current popular themes, emo nights do have the best playlists. Shrek and SpongeBob raves play the most generic dubstep ever, with very little if any nod to the theme in the music. Emo night playlists, however, keep millennials screaming along to the most mainstream of pop-punk hits, which, in the same vein as '80s night DJs, is a very effective strategy. BUT — no matter how much fun they might be, there's no underground or alternative edge to these events — they just profit off the name of a subversive subgenre.
A younger version of you — the one with bleached raccoon stripes in their hair — is probably disappointed to hear that the music that once ruled your MySpace page has been reduced to mass-market dance party productions. That same version of you would likely be happier with current you if you spent your money going to see smaller independent DJs that spin music in the genres you love with considerably more underground street cred.
Regardless, there's no shame in enjoying events catered to your demographic, formulaic as they may be. If emo night makes your heart sing, you should embrace the new version of '80s night the way you’ve embraced your “adulting” era: overpriced drink in hand and home to your “puppers” at a decent hour.
